Super Emma

It's funny. In my former life (before my life as a SAHM), I was a social worker. One of my jobs was to work with young underadvantaged moms in a child abuse prevention program. I also did therapy with families and children as part of my MSW internship. In both of these roles, I helped parents process and work through parenting issues. I didn't have the experience as a mom so that sometimes put me at a disadvantage, but I had knowledge and skills and information as a social worker that could apply. Notice I never said I had the "answers." :)

Now I'm the parent. It would really be nice to have a home visitor sometimes who could come help me work through some of my parenting dilemmas... or just listen for that matter. I suppose that's where my sister, mom, many friends, and favorite parenting gurus (Dr. Sears, Dr. Harvey Karp, Dr. Phil) have come in to play.

The whole time I was anticipating my daughter's birth and experiencing her develop as an infant, I kept thinking about the teenage years. I know what it was like to be a teenage girl... and I think I was probably pretty easy to parent compared to some of my friends/acquaintances. But I know with all teens come hormones and attitudes and peer pressure and issues of dependence vs. independence. I kind of forgot that some of that stuff can start much earlier!!

So here I am trying to use some creative parenting with my 3 1/2 year-old. Sometimes I wish it were as easy as telling her politely to do something and her following through. And occasionally it is. But with a spirited, independent, (and I like to think intelligent) preschooler, it doesn't always happen that way. Again, my support network has given me some wonderful ideas to interact with Emma and this has been very helpful.

Right now one of the techniques co-created by Emma and me is called "Super Emma." Well, we didn't really create it - it just developed into that. Here's an example:

Me: (talking to "myself) "Oh, man. I really could use help with ________."

You can then see Emma's eyes brighten as she pretends to put on her superhero cape (with sound effects and all) and "flies" to whatever it is. It's done rapidly, all with an excited smile on her face as though she picked up on a need all on her own without being asked.

Of course, this is followed up with surprised gratitude. "Wow. Oh, Emma. Thank you so much."

I was remembering today how much I hated being asked to do things sometimes by my mom. I clearly remember just wanting to beat her to it. I was a pleaser and I was always so disappointed when I felt like she had made a request of me before I could surprise and please her. I wonder if Emma is like that a little now and will be like that as she gets older. It'll be interesting to see how my parenting techniques have to evolve with time to continue to fit both my expectations and her needs.